Thursday, January 8, 2015

I refuse to gain to the world, but lose my soul

 I was driving home on my way from work tonight and I heard a song come on that I have never heard before. In this song, there was a lyric that really stuck to me: I refuse to gain the world, but lose my soul. I couldn't help but think about this lyric for the rest of my ride home. So many times through my life have I seen people i know and care for, sacrifice who they are for things like personal or financial gain. I will be the first to admit, there is a lot of appealing things about living a fancy life. I am a gamer, and it is a expensive hobby, but being able to afford it easily would be a perk. When we start to lose respect for how we gain something, we start to lose interest in what it is we gained. I have had good and bad days at work, but I can vouch for the fact that it feels good to earn something. We live in a society that puts emphasis on haste and lack of patient. I work at a restaurant, and from time to time eat at them as well. After working in the business for a while you start to realize that in essence, we thrive off laziness. I'm not calling you lazy for eating fast food. Sometimes it is convenient and honestly sometimes cheaper than cooking. I am just using the point as a booster towards the point i am trying to get across. Everyone looks for the get skinny quick scheme, or the get rich quick scheme and very few people find joy in actually working for something anymore. I think in part, it is a generation difference, but the feeling is everywhere.

   I ran into my cousin the other day and I have been reflecting a lot on our conversation. I hadn't seen her in at least a year and and it was very good to catch up. This girl is a sister to me, so I immediately picked right back up where we left off. First let me start off by saying that after I got married, family holidays quickly turned hectic as we scrambled to visit everyone and keep everyone happy. I can honestly say that to this day, it still is a struggle every year. Now that I established that fact, I will get back to the story. I started asking her about my cousins and other family members that I haven't seen lately. We always were a big close family growing up but after time, we went our different ways, and traveled down different paths. Once you start your own family, things change quite a bit. Regardless of standing, it still is very nice to see your family as much as possible. I don't get to see all my family as much as I want, some due to schedule conflicts, and some due to me being lazy and not acting. Once she gave me the run down on what everyone was doing i noticed a drop in her tone, like she was a little down. I noticed that as she talked about how great and wonderful everyone was doing, it started to make her sad that she wasn't at the same point in her life. I knew I couldn't sway her from how she felt, but I said that all that really mattered in life, was whats inside your heart. My father always said that when you die, none of your worldly possessions will go with you, and as I got older, this quote really started to grow on me.

   It is funny to hear people watch tv shows about these rich families who have major issues every other episode. I haven't ever really been into watching them because I feel that money doesn't bring happiness like a lot of people seem to think. At least once a week I get asked if I would do a random act for a random amount of money and my answer is always the same. You don't need money to be happy. You need to believe in yourself to be happy. You need to believe in what you are doing to happy. You need to Believe to be happy. If you spend your life looking for the next thing you can chase to make you happy, you will never find it. I have heard friends move around looking for their home, when in reality, their home is inside themselves. You do not need a location, or a possession to be happy. I used to say all the time that seeing isn't believing, believing is seeing, and too this day it still holds true. No matter where you are in life, you have be ok with that. I play video games a lot and it mirrors the problem in the real world. If I am playing a game where the goal is to level to 100. I can spend 99 levels wishing I was 100, and by the time I hit that level, I will wish that I spent more time enjoying the process. I have never really liked the saying enjoy the ride, but it has its merits.

   All in all this conversation just got me thinking about how people beat themselves up over things not going according to plan. I hope that if you read this and are struggling to find happiness due to these issues, then let my words hit you where it matters. Be happy with who you are and how you are, and quit worrying about where you are. Whether you make 1k a year, 50k a year, or 150k a year, don't ever let it influence who you are. Some people use possessions to hide pain, but eventually it eats away at them. Life is short if you make it, but if you cherish every moment, and live for it, you will enjoy a lot more of those moments. I can tell you with 100% accuracy that hugging someone you love, means a whole lot more than hugging your Porsche. Now hugging someone you love inside a Porsche is just nuts. I hope you find hope in what I have written, and maybe even a laugh or two.

  I am 28 years old, I live in a apartment, my credit score is pretty good, I am married to the most wonderful woman on the world, I work at a restaurant as a assistant manager, I have the most wonderful friends and family a guy could ever ask for, and I thank God for everyone of these things every single day. The world is filled with blessings that I think people fall short of seeing them because they are too caught up in themselves. I hope to spread my words as a writer because I feel I am here to inspire and help people. I may not reach as many as i would like but that will not stop me from trying. Here is to a great year!

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